WHODUNDIDIT??
A murder! A mystery! A murder mystery! Can you solve it?
My eight-year-old has been publishing his own newspaper called The Squishy Times, and each issue contains a whodunnit mystery featuring his squishmallows. It’s pretty amazing. It reminded me of a short mystery I wrote on my mom’s typewriter when I was thirteen. I dug the story out of my bin of childhood papers and read it to him, and it still holds up! It’s a short story, a murder mystery, and a puzzle. There is a correct answer—I read the story with my kid and after a bit of puzzling, he was able to figure it out. I will now share it with you, and if you can solve it, let me know! Reply to this email with your answer and if you get it right I’ll send you a prize.
I’ll even read it to you, if you’d like. Listen here, or read the full story below1.
Rain fell. It was dark outside. Seven people sat around the late John Sparrow’s dining room table in his near empty mansion.
Cliff Riley was the first to speak. “I am telling the truth, I didn’t shoot John. I’m only his milkman, why would I shoot him?” Everyone was silent as they took this into consideration. “But,” he continued, “I have a pretty good idea who did.”
Lightning flashed. Everyone jumped. Bob Carlos stood, “Who do you suspect?”
Cliff stood as Bob sat. “YOU!!” screamed Cliff. He threw back his head and began to laugh like a madman.
Bob stood again, “How dare you say I would stab my poker buddy. Me and John were just like this,” he crossed his fingers and held them up for everyone to see. The other six “oohed” and “ahhed” in amazement.
June Dunlap rose. “Maybe you all think I poisoned John because he divorced me. Well if John was poisoned, who here has the best access to drugs but a doctor?”
Doctor Bunson objected. “Who are you to accuse me?”
“Girl fight,” muttered Mack Morton.
The doctor continued, “Anyways, I am far too prestigious a surgeon to sink as low as to poison dear John.”
Rufert Evens spoke up, “Yes but surgeons also have easy access to knives…”
“So do butchers, Mr. Evens,” Dr. Bunson replied.
“Are you saying that just because I am a butcher, that I stabbed John? Certainly I did not!”
Dr. Bunson just looked away.
Mack Morton said still sitting, “As a rancher, I don’t have much access to guns, knives, or poisons.”
“Yes but you do have access to a large supply of rope,” said Bob Carlos.
“That I do…” agreed Mack.
It was quite still for a minute and then Greg Bunson, who hadn’t said a single word yet, spoke, “All of you are assuming the fact that John was killed with a man made weapon. But what if that weapon was plainly man?”
Everyone turned to him.
“Are you suggesting that John was possibly strangled to death by one’s own hands?” asked Cliff Riley.
“Yes. And who could be stronger than a lumberjack?” asked Greg.
Everyone turned to look at Bob Carlos. He looked back at them. “What? So I’m a lumberjack. Does that make me a murderer? Paul Bunyan was a lumberjack. Did he kill anyone?”
“Good point. So you didn’t strange John?” asked Cliff.
“I didn’t. But ranchers also have a lot of strength.”
“That is quite inappropriate! I didn’t kill John with my own hands, nor did I choke him with a rope. Why would I?” exclaimed Mack Morton.
“Why would I?” asked Bob Carlos.
“You say you were John’s poker buddy, maybe he was in great debt to you,” suggested Gertrude Bunson.
“Do you actually think that a man as rich as John Sparrow could not pay off his debts?!” snapped Morton.
Rufert spoke. “I am such an old man I certainly could not have killed John with my own hands.”
“But you could have easily poisoned his steaks which you delivered weekly,” stated Jane Dunlap.
“I did nothing of the sort! But you Miss Dunlap do have the record of pulling a gun on John after he said he wanted a divorce,” spoke the butcher.
“Quite true,” she replied, “But it is in the past. I did not shoot my ex-husband. I did not stab him, I did not hang him.”
Greg Bunson spoke, “I spoke to John just last week before he was killed. He had called me to ask if I wanted to go hunting. I said no for two reasons. One, my job at the bank had been very busy lately, and two, my guns were on loan to another friend of mine. The last one shows I clearly could not have shot John since I did not have a gun in my possession at the time. Also showing I could not have done much of anything since I was at the bank working overtime.”
“Where was your wife this whole time?” asked Bob Carlos.
“At the hospital of course. She was working also.”
“Are you saying she couldn’t have killed John either?” asked Bob.
Greg pulled at his collar nervously, and said, “I plead the fifth.”
Gertrude chuckled. “That’s quite unnecessary. I’ll testify for myself. I was working late. About 12:46 a.m. an ambulance pulls in with John’s mutilated body. Blood everywhere. He had obviously put up a struggle.”
“So your alibi is that you were at work?” asked June.
The doctor nodded.
“Could you not be lying? Couldn’t you have killed him at the hospital?” June asked.
“With what? A gun? A knife? A rope? HOW do you think I could do that in a crowded hospital without anyone noticing?” she replied.
“If it was late at night it wouldn’t be crowded,” pointed out Cliff.
“What do you know about the hospital?” asked Dr. Bunson.
“You still could have strangled him,” Cliff said.
“And break a nail? Are you kidding?” she replied, “but you Cliff, a milkman though you are, could have easily knocked on his door early in the morning, and when a groggy Mr. Sparrow answers, rope him and kill him instantly,” said Gertrude.
“Why would a milkman carry a rope, or a knife to cut it the proper length at that?” asked Cliff.
“The same goes for me, why would a lumberjack carry a rope? With new technology these days, we chain, not rope our cords of wood together,” declared Bob.
“Well a butcher as I am uses string, not rope, to bind my meats. And the mall my shop is in doesn’t even allow for firearms, so how could I obtain a gun?” Ruftert pointed out.
June started to cry. “What a shame it is. One of us killed John and all we care about is ourselves. Oh I get so weak at times, I can hardly get out of bed, and now after John’s death it has really taken it out of me. Come, let us come to a conclusion quickly.”
WHO KILLED JOHN SPARROW AND WITH WHAT? TAKE ALL FACTS INTO CONSIDERATION. NO ONE IS LYING BUT SOME MAY BE WITHHOLDING SOME OF THE TRUTH!!!
by,
Breena D. Wiederhoeft2
WP 963
Thanks for reading! Again, if you think you’ve solved it, reply with your answers! Winners get a prize!
<3
Breena
When I transcribed this from the typewritten pages I fixed a couple spelling mistakes but preserved all my original punctuation because I think it’s charming. I really loved learning the rules of punctuation as a kid, especially how to use quotation marks. It’s one of the things I miss when I’m doing comics and putting everyone’s words into speech balloons.
das my maiden name! You might recognize it if you read Picket Line.
WP was Weederhayft Productions if I remember correctly. Had to handhold people through a phonetic pronunciation of the ol’ surname.